Weekend Dairy..

If not for the oath that I had taken (I presume i was serious then ;)) on the inauguration of this blog - tht i would scribble down those moments where i FELT genuinely/experienced myself , I would have bumped posts one after another by now with my imaginations , emerging out of my "Thought Generator" :)

Well , nevertheless its nevr too late and i believe i gotta change my norms for blog writing so here i am again after a short hiatus :-).

Most of my childhood frnds knw tht i have been an very imaginative child (of course my mom had to work hard to get me out of my woven-up worlds sometimes :))This again reminds me of a question wch people pose at me quite so often esp. during those loong train journeys frm Kol-Hyd / Hyd-Rjy....rather wch irked me those days.

Well , a lot of times when I say I have no siblings , they respond with ‘Just you? No brothers n Sisters ?’ in a tone of mingled surprise and pity. And I used to hear the words so often that I am made to feel sorry for myself for not having a brother and sister ,while I actually appreciated their sympathy, and vaguely assumed they felt sorry simply because I am missing out on the fun that comes with having a bro/sis. Most of times i used to end up explaining how big a family i come from , and hw close a network my cousins and my frnds form , only to notice a drastic change in their expressions :) .However those thoughts used to get to a halt at the end of my train journeys as I never really get a chance to think abt it after i resume to my life journey.Well ,Thanks to my parents and my ever lovely frnds for tht !!

Okei , now as u c dear readers - I digress !.
Coming back to post part of it , this week has been a store of surprises for me that i started feeling like on a Trampoline.Well after all that scheduled by god happened to me ,something that deserves to make a presence in my dairy , this weekend , is the state of mind I am in.

Sometimes, when I have more than a couple choices in front of me, clarity seems abandon me. Irrespective of how many times I toss and turn, I come up with the same answer - confusion. It's like no matter what I do, the options keep getting so contorted and twisted that in the end, all I want to do is go to sleep. :)

At those times, I'd like to take a quick peek into my future, maybe 8-9 months down the line, just to see which one of those options play out. It would definitely result in a much more calmer me. But is there a cost to such clarity?

Over the last month or so, I have been cribbing to all my intimate frnds who's been (unfortunately, for them) willing to lend an ear about the bad dreams that keep me up at night, about various changes in my life which are taking some time getting used to, about the fact that now I have to actually work for a living and manage expenses (as opposed to faffing before), about how my aerobics lessons go unyielding , about... well, about anything under the sun. While all this while, there are people who I know are going through utter crap in life, only to be smiling every single day through all of it. I think that, truly, is the cue for me to stop whining and get on with it.

So here i go , put a fullstop to the digressing thoughts , and become a happy penguine :).But I am sure I'd be happy reading this dairy of mine after about 8-9 months from now ! Chalo gotcha catch up some sleep now.Bye !

3 comments:

Kavitha

June 15, 2010 at 3:40 AM
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1

said...

Jaan , Guess I know wht u r talking abt !!!..going thru the same phase babes..will call u in d weekend ! But a nice attempt cutie !

1

said...

This post shows off your mind...full of confusion...now you just passed it on to the readers haha!! !! :D...

Jhansi

July 6, 2010 at 4:09 AM
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1

said...

@Lav -Haha.. i know..! u r my victim sumtimes :P
Hope i ll get things to closure by this yr end !

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